1. He gave me an illuminated globe for Christmas when I was 11. Who gives an 11-year-old boy an illuminated globe? Why did I get that while Adam - who was a really nasty piece of work - got Reebok trainers and a Sega Mega Drive?
2. He always drank the sherry we left and scoffed the mince pie but he left his reindeer starving. I know this because we left a carrot and it was only ever nibbled. Why do the reindeer who have to pull the selfish @!$%¿&# only get a tiny bit of carrot?
Click here to read the other 8 hilarious reasons Andy West hates Santa. ;-)