from a book called Blackboard Blunders (Spelling Slip-Ups and Homework Howlers), and they are so funny!!!
On school reports: My teacher said I was very epidemically bright. I was prowed!
On art classes: Today I painted an octopuss with big eyes and eight purple testicles.
In his own story: Time seemed to be standing still. Nothing was happening and I was getting scarred. I looked again at my c.o.c.k. It hadn't moved since I last looked at it.
On the choir: In last year's Christmas concert, Linzie played the main prat. I played one of the smaller prats and I would like to have a bigger prat this year.
On Geography: In Scandinavia , the Danish people come from Denmark, the Norweigans come from Norway and the Lapdancers come from Lapland.
On charity work: I feel sorry for the people in Africa. They are staring to death. They only get a little groin to eat. I wouldn't like to eat groin.
On maths: The total is when you add up all the numbers and a remainder is an animal that pulls Santa on his Sleigh.
On automobiles: Helicopters are cleverer than planes . Not only can they fly through the air, they can also hoover.
On history: Sir Walter Raleigh circumcised the world with a big clipper.
On the 1930s: If you had no money in the 1930s, you could get some by going to a porn shop. The man at the porn shop had three balls hanging over his entrance.
On World War Two: Sometimes in the war they take prisners and keep them ostridges until the war is over.Some prisoners end up in consterpation camps.
On ancient history: In a field near my house, they think they have found the remains of a roman fart.
On the holidays: When it gets near Christmas, I get choclat penis. I get one every morning.
A prayer: Dear God, My wish is that there would be pis all over the world. Make the wars end and let people live in pis all their lives.
On illness: I went to see the doctor because I have awful crap. I woke up with crap all down my leg yesterday and I cuddent put my foot down.
On hobbies: My hobby is insest. I learnt about all kinds of insest from a book I bort at a bring and buy sale. I speshly like aunts.
On nuclear anxiety: My dad talked about weapons of mass destruction while eating dinner. I'm worried about this. I don't want to get bumbed.
What she did at the weekend: This wikend we went shopping. I got some new shoes and mummy got a new pair of tits.
When I grow up: I would like to have lots of babys when I am a grown-up. My mummy says I need to wait until I'm older but Tina across the raod has lots of babys and she isn't grown up. She also has lots of husbends.
Bedtime: It is verry noisy for me at night because we live above a pube.
For more examples, check these out: