Now, Governor Rick Perry started this nonsense, of course. A couple of years ago he spoke of secession in glowing terms. Now he’s repudiating the little know-nothings he created in his image as if he had nothing to do with the phenomenon. So it goes.

The thing is, it is a decided minority of Texans that talk this [secessionist] nonsense. Please believe me, although I know you see a lot of evidence to the contrary. Texas is a wondrous place. It’s part of the South. It’s part of the West. It’s part of the Great Plains. We went to the moon. We have Willie Nelson.

We also have a great bunch of hard-working, compassionate people who deserve better than to be thrown a bunch of paranoid, bigoted loonies. The greedy feed the loonies to keep Texans distracted while they loot the treasury. It’s not a new story, although it remains a sad one. The distractions work. Republicans I know secretly hate the fact that their club is now run by the nuts. But then, they were happy enough to make common cause with the nuts to put themselves in power.

So, when the secessionists make you think about throwing this particular tub of bathwater out the window, remember, some of us are the babies.

I’d entertain thoughts of giving the crazies the Panhandle. But there are good people in the Panhandle, too, and I hate to see them jettisoned from the Union on a whim.

But here’s another thought. How about a big damned boat? Why don’t we give the secessionists their own giant cruise ship. They can then go where they want and be men-without-a-country together.

That’s the thing. These idiots think of themselves as patriots, when the only thing they really worship is their own sorry selves. The more I think of it, the better I like the boat idea.

A different kind of Boat People. There’s a certain symmetry in that I could grow to appreciate.