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Joy Tomkins, 81, [of Downham Market, Norfolk, England] decided she did not want to be brought back to life in a medical emergency following the slow death of her husband Malcolm.
The mum-of-two, who is not terminally ill, has now had ”Do Not Resuscitate” tattooed across her chest to ensure that doctors respect her right to die.
Joy has also had ”PTO” and an arrow inked onto her back – so that paramedics will read the words on her chest if she collapses face first.
Grandmother-of-six Joy, who suffers from arthritis, Reynard’s disease and diabetes, yesterday revealed she does not want to endure a slow, lingering death.
She said: ”I do not want to be half dead, I want to be fully dead. It might have been different when I was 51 but I am 81 now.
”Everybody has to die sometime but I do not want to end up as a vegetable. I hoped I would get away at 70 but I’m still happy to be alive now.
”I am afraid that the medical profession will, with the best of medical intentions I hope, keep me alive when I don’t want to be alive."
Grandmother gets "Do Not Resuscitate" tattooed on chest
Article Source: swns.com
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It is not because my are children are not fond of me that they would allow me not to be resuscitated – it is because they know and accept my wishes.
- 4 votes
#1 - Wed Sep 7, 2011 6:01 PM EDTMy mother did not tattoo that.. but is a little older.. has a DNR... however, my sister who is a year younger decided to override her wishes when she had a heart attack and died for a few minutes.. and my mother has been around for a couple more years doing fine.. and does a lot of things.. she hates not doing things.. she's 84 .. there should be stipulations required.. not a finite conclusion.
- 3 votes
Good point -- I think most people mean if they have a terminal condition, but you're right, that should be spelled out -- and in a document, not on a tattoo, as that would be getting wordy.
Was your mother angry or happy that your sis overrode her wishes?
- 3 votes
Exactly - it should be on record with her health documents on the Hospital computer.. something.. that will stipulate conditions.. IF a person has had a long term health issue.. and there is nothing more that could be done.. then that is a good concessionary factor that the person hasn't any hope.. so a DNR would be the best thing for the patient and for the caring family members.. Not someone who is otherwise healthy and puts on their body a tattoo DNR.. to me that is ridiculous to begin with.. and they cannot foresee any health issue that could be overcome after a resuscitation... which today many issues can be helped by medicine .. or something that a doctor could find ..
- 3 votes
Joy seems to have made an informed choice, so I for one, would support her in that decision.
- 2 votes
#2 - Wed Sep 7, 2011 7:22 PM EDT
The lady is right! At 86 and in rapidly failing health I have endured in the last 3 months 4 trips to the hospital where after their obligatory pint of blood they set about trying to find out why I was there. Over the course of the next 9 days I had 5 specialists, count'em, run hugely expensive tests on me and none of them could find out the reason for this particular problem. Interestingly though each and every one of them found problems that fit into their particular specialty and called for more expensive testing to which I politely refused, which is my prerogative! I finally had to tell each of them that at my age I wasn't interested in the quantity of my life I was more interested in the quality of it and they were destroying that for me. Never saw a one of them again but I am still getting their bills which for those 9 days is now over 90K and growing! EOL (End of life) decisions do not sit well with the young folks who are taught to aggressively address physical problems and if I were 40 or 50 years younger I might just agree with that theory. But not any more. All I want to do is protect my family for the inevitable sign off of the old fella! I dread to see the costs still to arrive here for the other stays as I prepare for yet another go there! This is no way to end a life!
- 5 votes
#3 - Wed Sep 7, 2011 7:43 PM EDTIt saddens me that you've had to endure so much, my friend.
*hugs*
- 2 votes
Thank you so much and the lady is still correct! There comes a time when we should have the right to say enough! But some foolish senses of morality says you can not do this and yet every other animal is treated with more compassion than we older folks, don'tcha know? Smooooch!!
I keep telling you kids, I'm old not dead!! ;~))
- 4 votes
FINutmegger, when I was little I had Indian friends who taugth me so much about life and death , old and young, right and wrong and peace and love , when I grew up in Natchez Mississippi , so I know that whatever you are going through you are at peace with it and that makes me feel better for your strength! That being said my prayers are with you!
Remember that saying that a young person cannot tell you about being old but we sure can tell them about being young, as we made decisions for our lives when we were young ,as long as we are in our right minds we should be able in any way we want to decide our own end life!
And finally I hope that you and I keep on living for we both are old but not dead!
- 3 votes
Thanks for sharing your experiences and wisdom, FlNutmegger and Katt.
- 3 votes
My dad had a DNR order. It was under stipulations though. If life cannot be maintained to a degree in which survival will be in a normal manner. In other words, if he was not to be connected to a machine for the rest of his life, then let him go. If there was a good chance of survival as a vital person, then do what is needed.
- 3 votes
#5 - Wed Sep 7, 2011 11:22 PM EDTClipped to a few groups.
Good for her, can't get much more clear in her wishes than that.
- 3 votes
#6 - Thu Sep 8, 2011 4:14 AM EDTShe could be a trendsetter here ...folks no longer signing the standard orange or pink papered DNR with social worker and legalities and medical speak ...Is she going to get a tatoo on her neck also saying Do not intubate to simulate a DNI order...Those exist also...Maybe we would have less folks then undergoing long arduous costly measures to prolong life if we all got tatooed...The problems might come in a burn injury though if thhe skin burns and melts to tatoo off ....But other than that mayhbe this lady on to something as also many times family memmbers encourage or are Power of Attorney and they seek to prolong a familys members life for greedy financial gain posturing and because they cant let go...And doctors also to run zillions of tests and profit during the downward trend...
- 3 votes
#7 - Thu Sep 8, 2011 11:44 AM EDTI've been working in EMS for years and have dealt with DNR's more time than I care to remember. Where as I'm not familiar with the laws regarding DNR's in England, in Oklahoma you can have DNR tattooed on your chest, forehead, butt cheek, whatever, if I don't have the DNR order in my hand, signed by the doctor and patient (or legal representative) Y'ER GETTIN' WORKED! It's the law and if a family member decides that they can't live without Gramma's loving smile they can resend the DNR order. Now me, I've got DNFC tattooed on my junk. It means Do Not Foley Catheterize! (That's the tube up the ol' wang, for the medically challenged.)
- 2 votes
#8 - Fri Sep 9, 2011 12:21 PM EDTacravatt, with all of this first hand knowledge please let me ask you; having just finished a couple of really nasty hospital stays where they employ Hospitalists and who sicked (sorry pun not intended) a number of their specialists on to me with less than gratifying results for me since I am making EOL (End of Life) decisions based upon my age of 86. I had the hospital records, according to this Hospitalist, changed to read DNR but maintain comfort only! This was done to suppress aggressive (Expensive) treatments with the exception of my personal comfort. Will they honor their word do you suppose? Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
- 2 votes
As long as you have an advanced directive and a DNR, the hospital staff has a moral, legal and ethical obligation to follow. But still, talk about it with the hospitals social services and your doctor to find out for sure. May God be with you as you make these tough decisions.
- 4 votes
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