It's primary day in Arizona! And a nation wonders: Will hilarious, pseudonymous porn scribe Ben Quayle, Dan Quayle's weird kid, overcome the adversity and win his congressional primary? Who knows! But he's enlisting daddy's help for a final push.

Ben Quayle, a 33-year-old investor of some sort, was caught up in a bizarre scandal earlier this month when the founder of sexy making-fun-of-girls website TheDirty.com alleged that Quayle had contributed pseudonymous sex tales a few years ago to the site's previous iteration, DirtyScottsdale.com. Quayle at first denied any association with the site or its founder, but after a series of grinding "clarifications" over the course of a few days, he conceded that he had contributed.

Then he released the most awkward campaign ad in history to distract the media, which didn't work, instead leading to a delightful avalanche of mockery.